Are you seeking a relationship or are you presently in relationship because you WANT too or because you feel that you NEED too? Let me tell you this, there is a MAJOR difference. I remember having this conversation with one of my close friends about relationships. Ive always struggled with relationships and I have also shared that I have the tendency to attract toxic men in my life. How many women can relate? Can I get an Amen!! Anyways, we were on the topic of relationships and I had shared about this man that I was dating and felt that I was settling for things that I normally would not settle for. He pointed out to me that I needed to have a relationship with someone because if I wanted a relationship, then my standards would not change to accommodate the relationship, the relationship would accommodate my standards. Let that sink in, I’ll give you a minute. Actually, let me repeat that in case you forgot what I just said. If I wanted a relationship, then my standards would not change to accommodate the relationship, the relationship would accommodate my standards. I was willing to CHANGE my standards; just so that I could be in a relationship with this man, by tolerating things that was out of my character.
See the thing is, when you want a relationship, you are not willing to accept any and everything because a relationship is something that will compliment your life. Nevertheless, when we settle, we are saying to ourselves that it is okay to ignore our needs and wants, because we feel like someone will fill a void in our lives that we cant fill ourselves. You find yourself in a situation that you never thought you would be in. You date someone who only subtracts from your life and then you wonder why your progress has made a left turn and reversed! In the beginning it may appear that he is the one and the man of your dreams who finally came to rescue you, like the prince from all the fairy tails you read as a little girl. Although things are going well right now, there are signs that warn you, but you choose to ignore it because “ no one is perfect right?”.
Don’t you wish that there was a warning sign attached to toxic men that stated “WARNING AVOID ME…I WILL MESS YOUR LIFE UP”. Maybe I will create an app for that…Anyways…let’s get back to the topic. As I was saying….you must ask yourself….. Am I looking for Mr. Right or Mr Right Now? Do not be in a rush to rush into something. Sometimes we judge the perfect relationship based on what we see on social media and I can tell you that social media can be very deceptive. The reality of it is, relationships are handwork and you have to be willing to make compromises. Take your time by learning about yourself and what you like. What interests you? What are you willing and not willing to accept in a relationship? When you know who you are and what you want, you will recognize your value and will not allow another human being to de-value you. Take your time in getting to know someone and don’t rush based on temporary feelings because we all go through the honeymoon phase and ask yourself the question….Do I WANT a relationship or do I NEED a relationship?
